Life Lessons [Part III]

  • There are far worse things in life than a muffin top or thighs that touch.
  • There’s a smaller sign under Memory Lane, and it reads “Proceed with caution.”
  • Repeat after me: Instagram is a worldwide highlight reel.
  • Sentences that start with “no offense” are 100% offensive, 100% of the time.
  • Head up, shoulders back [in and outside of the gym].
  • When you find yourself elbow-deep in a cooking rut, buy new spices.

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  • There are three “o’s” in “sophomore.”
  • Your first love will always be your measuring stick, and that’s okay.
  • If you want to feel the burn, superset leg extensions and leg curls.
  • Tuck back a thin strip on the packing tape so you can find the beginning next time.
  • If you order a cone, ask for a cup too [this applies to everyone under and over four feet tall].
  • Very few things in life will top the smell of Mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

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  • Everyone is looking for something.
  • If you can’t say “dulce de leche” without second-guessing yourself, you aren’t alone.
  • Add calorie free coconut oil spray to your cart. It’ll change your life.
  • Mostly leftover lunch often tastes better than last night’s dinner recipe.
  • Don’t go to the grocery store on an empty stomach. Especially not to Whole Foods.
  • Squash season will pass.

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  • There are so many ways to be twenty-two years old.
  • If you want to start the year off right, take your Christmas lights down before December ends.
  • Stop whenever you see a “Puppy For Sale” sign.
  • Spend less time looking in the mirror.
  • Everyone needs a living and breathing invitation to believe in better things.
  • See how another city does Christmas.

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  • Falsehood: “Sticks and stones will hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.”
  • A wraparound porch is enviable, but a house with no natural light really isn’t.
  • Say “I love you” to your dad, even if he’s the kind just to reply by changing your oil.
  • When you make a recipe, write down the date you made it, who you made it with/for, and what you thought of it.
  • Sometimes the words won’t come quickly.
  • Prescribe yourself one day a month with absolutely no To-Dos.

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  • There will always be someone more stunning, more intelligent, more poised, more successful, more charitable, more enviable than you. This is the one race you should drop out of.
  • If you have an asymmetrical forehead and naturally curly hair, you should probably pass on the side bangs.
  • Let people dress their own salads.
  • What goes up must come down [even if it’s not for another two miles].
  • When you’re running, listen to your body more than to the beeps on your Garmin.
  • Good things grow [and of those good things, the best ones are edible].

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  • Don’t store your spices near your stove or your oven [they might not be creepy or crawly, but they do like cool and dark spaces].
  • You need new running shoes after 500 miles, no matter how new they look.
  • Quotes can be inspiring; clichés usually are not.
  • Your oven is not equally hot all over. Neither is your grill.
  • Birth control pills might make you batty [again, listen to your body].
  • Before you slice a fruit in half to juice it, heat it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds [and don’t say I told you to].

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  • Overexposure is the kiss of death in any relationship – romantic or otherwise.
  • With a little patience, frozen green grapes can double as bite-sized popsicles.
  • You’re not lacking anything if you don’t like what everyone else pretends to love.
  • People really shouldn’t be used as safety nets.
  • Don’t overcrowd the pan when you’re sautéing — unless you want to steam your food instead.
  • It’s a very, very good idea to turn your oatmeal into a giant peanut butter chocolate cookie-cake.

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  • The takeaway from 8th grade English: book titles should be underlined.
  • Every once in awhile, read something that doesn’t require an awful lot of concentration.
  • Take mental pictures, with a little click each time.
  • If you can’t dance, know that you’ll attract more attention to yourself by standing still then you would by dancing to the beat of your own drummer.
  • Don’t take tomorrow to bed with you.
  • It’s an even better idea to turn your baked oats into an oversized peppermint patty.

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  • You deserve someone who’ll give his/her whole heart, not the part he/she isn’t using at the moment.
  • “Spellchecked” is not a synonym for “edited.”
  • You will meet very, very few people who have the ability to make you feel at home no matter where you are.
  • In every relationship, there is The One Who Loves More [it just might not be the same person six days, six weeks, and six months from now].
  • You’re never too old for arts and crafts.
  • There are five mother sauces. These are their names: Bechamel, velouté, espagnole, hollandaise, and tomato.
  • Never pass up the opportunity to take a cooking class with a French chef.

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  • It is very, very difficult to love another when you don’t love yourself.
  • The long run puts the tiger in the cat.
  • There are many heavens on earth. Most noticeably among them: Cape Cod, Massachusetts.
  • The secret to good parenting involves reading bedtime stories with voices.
  • A trick any entertainer worth her salt knows: throw an onion in the oven an hour before guests arrive. It’ll make the house smell like you know what you’re doing [even if you had everything catered].
  • Play tourist [even more encouraged during the off-season] and don’t try to hide it.

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  • Whether or not a pineapple is ripe has nothing to do with the ease in which a leaf can be removed from its crown.
  • You can be equal parts devastated and relieved at exactly the same moment in time.
  • Every few weeks, change the frequency, intensity, and duration of your workouts.
  • Caprese Grilled Cheese with Arugula Pesto tastes just as good after National Grilled Cheese Month has gone by.
  • It’s usually too early to quit.
  • Cut the ends off of fresh flowers before you stick them in a vase with water [flower food optional].

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  • If your goal is to burn fat, commit yourself to workouts with short bursts of high-intensity intervals followed by active recovery periods.
  • What not to wear [together]: tight bottoms and equally snug tops.
  • One of the secrets of happy people: a steady supply of small treats.
  • Be a friend to yourself.
  • Sometimes, love fades [inexplicably and irreversibly].
  • Nothing is bad after it has been bacon-wrapped and skewer-stabbed.

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  • A user-friendly definition of an introvert: an individual who gains energy from being alone and loses it by socializing. 
  • College is probably the last time you’ll be in such close proximity to so many people your own age.
  • Habits have a habit of sneaking up and sticking around.
  • Even the cover models wish they could look like themselves.
  • You eat with your eyes first.

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  • Just because you’ve gone and snagged yourself a keeper doesn’t mean you should leave your best friends high and dry.
  • There’s no replacement for firsthand experience.
  • Time might not heal every wound, but it does help dull the sting.
  • There’s no scale on the market that will tell you how pretty you look when you smile, how contagious your laugh is, or how your eyes light up when you’re presented with something that you love.
  • A source of comfort: everyone is just sort of winging it.

If you’re interested in Life Lessons Part I and II, see here and here.

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